Computer, Molotov's or Bricks I just can't seem to decide

Pretty soon, Nick Clegg, the self-appointed minority minister and deputy arse-wipe of parliament will be re-inventing the wheel of politics with a new propaganda and information unit which he intends to disguise  as a public questionnaire. Cunning eh? -

The questionnaire will ask the public what laws they want to get rid of so Nick Clegg doesn't have to get his hands dirty in stuffy meeting halls full of shitty little people baying for the blood of politicians, and will save taxpayers money which we have no say over too. Good eh? -

It will soon be live so I thought I'd get my message ready. 

You see placing all these nasty questions on a distant computer in a far off place away from parliament or your MP's window offices, will be hugely beneficial to 'promoting an enhanced and openly transparent bollox discourse between the shitty little people British public and lunatics in charge of parliament MPs', and it will save them having to get their hands messy too. 

Further, it will be far  easier  for Nick Clegg to hit a delete button than to stand in Number 10 shredding all the questions, especially if those questions happen to be wrapped around an engineering brick like the kind above because bricks are pretty damned difficult to put through  a shredder. Molotov's are even messier, and they can also cause an awful lot of damage if you happen to miss and get a splash back  to your outer garments, so this way of messaging is not really advisable for this reason. Surely only 'skilled people' should use those.

As for me, I can't wait to see this website and I'm so excited I could scream with delight that finally after all these years since an  English parliament was born before it was soon thereafter decapitated for the purpose of hearing English voices, we get the chance as a people to type on a fucking computer instead of messing up our hands filling the cellars at parliament with gunpowder or having to throw dirty bricks or Molotov's through its windows simply to convey our thoughts to those inside.

I feel this is such great progress that I am now deliberating whether I have the necessary skills to  utilize the new informational exchange mechanisms which will soon be placed at the country's disposal, or whether to carry on using my tried and tested Wimpey Homes  Greek version which I think might have a bit more clout. I know without question that such message systems have worked in Russia, America and France already, yet this newfangled computer Molotov has never been tested by health and safety experts, or the Commissar of the Equal Rights  Gestapo Commission. I mean do I need a black, ethnic or just a plain old white computer, or will any colour or type do?

During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act. George Orwell